Stuck
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: After a dream of his past Barney is having a hard time. Is Ted going to help Barney before it's too late? Self-Harm.


I own nothing. Enjoy! **ONE-SHOT ONLY!**

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><p>"Barney," James said kneeling next to me, "Come on you have to wake up. Please, brother, just open your eyes. Mom, call an ambulance. Wake up Barney."<p>

I listened to James yell in what I could only describe as anguish. I wanted to ask him what was wrong and why he was crying. I needed know who or what had hurt my brother.

As I lay on the ground trying to open not only my eyes, but my mouth I wondered why I was hearing so many different voices and feeling hands on me. They lifted me up and took me away from my family.

I wanted to fight them and figure out what was going on with my family, but I didn't have the strength. Hearing a door slam behind me I let myself be taken away and let myself fall into darkness.

"Barney," a new voice said loudly, "Dude, wake up."

Opening my eyes I looked up and saw Ted and Robin staring at me with a grin on their faces. I blinked a few times before standing up quickly only to fall into Ted's arms as dizziness consumed me.

"Dude, are you going to puke on me?" Ted said jokingly, "How much did you have to drink last night?"

Pulling away I stared at Ted for a moment before taking off out of the apartment. My head was pounding as I made my way to my office. I needed to forget about my dream before I thought about it too much.

When I got to my office I closed the door and rested my head on my desk. I couldn't believe I had that dream again. I had worked so hard to separate myself from that and now it was all coming back.

I couldn't let the thoughts control me anymore, but nothing was working anymore. I had found a way to keep my mind off of them. It was too much now I couldn't do it.

"Barney," Marshall said rushing in, "Hey, Ted said you freaked this morning. Are you feeling okay?"

"Marshall," I said with a fake smile, "Look at me, I'm awesome. Seriously, come on. It's me."

"Okay, he just said you were acting weird."

"You want the truth, Marshall?"

"Of course I do."

"I was having a sex dream about Ted's Mom and went I woke up Ted's face was in mine. What would you have done?"

"Okay, too much info, but I get it. I'll tell Ted that you're alright."

"Alright, see you later, bro."

Marshall left with a smile on his face and I knew that I had convinced him. I had been playing this game for so long I thought I had convinced myself a few times. Those times didn't last.

Looking into the mirror I had I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before punching the mirror. Watching the glass shards fall to the ground I felt my breathing pick up.

"One won't make a difference," I told myself, "It will be okay if it's just one."

I picked up a shard of glass and quickly stored it in my pocket as the door opened again. This time Marshall had brought Ted. Ted smiled happily before he looked at my hand and staring.

"Dude," Ted said rushing up to me, "What the hell happened to your hand?"

"What?" I said looking down and seeing blood, "Oh, my mirror broke. I was cleaning it up when I got cut."

"It looked like you punched it, Barney. What happened? First what happened this morning and now this. I'm really starting to believe that something is wrong."

"I didn't get laid last night, Ted. Everything will be fine once I get some action."

"Is that all you can think about? You don't get laid so you punch a mirror. You don't get laid so you almost pass out in my arms right after you wake up. You're lying, Barney. I know you're lying and I want you to tell me what is going on."

"Haha, yeah."

Ted stared at me for a moment before throwing his arms up and walking out of my office. Marshall shrugged slightly and took off after Ted. Looking into the broken mirror I sighed before leaving my office.

After saying that I was going home I started to walk around New York. I couldn't bring myself to walk into my empty apartment and there was nowhere else for me to go right now.

By the time I made it back at the bar I saw that the sun had gone down. Sighing I walked into the bar and saw everyone sitting at our table. As I walked up Ted looked at me with a look of anger and hurt.

My heart started to beat faster and I walked past them into the restroom. Locking myself into a toilet I closed my eyes and slipped my hand into my pocket. Pulling out the glass shard I listened to make sure no one was coming in before taking off my jacket and rolling up my sleeve.

Shaking my head I wanted to throw the glass on the floor and leave. The door opened slightly and I heard the laughing coming from the bar and I knew that I couldn't go out there.

"One never hurt anyone," I said knowing that I was lying.

I pressed the glass against my wrist and slowly drug it across. The cut was light and barely brought any blood, but my chest started to loosen and my head was clearing up so I pressed the glass down deeper.

Sighing I looked down at the cuts and saw that blood was about to get on my pants. Quickly moving so that the blood was dripping into the toilet I watched as the water turned red.

"One time," I said grabbing some toilet paper and wiping the blood from the glass and then my arm, "One time."

After I got the blood to stop I quickly went to the sink and washed the cuts before covering them up. Once I was completely ready I looked in the mirror and saw how horrible I looked. Sighing I walked out of the restroom and to the booth.

"Hey, Barney," Ted said smiling, "You were in there awhile, but I didn't see a girl come out. Is she still in there?"

"No," I said softly, "I didn't bring a girl in there. I'm going to head back to my place. I'll see you guys later."

I made my way out of the bar and hailed a cab. I was starting to feel the weight of what I had just done. I had promised never to do it again after James had found me bleeding to death when I was sixteen.

When I got to my place I roughly pulled my clothes off and stood in front of the mirror. The cuts were standing out against my skin and I could feel anger boiling inside of me.

Grabbing the glass from my pocket I started to slash at myself hoping to just make the thoughts go away. They might be there all the time, but I always had something to distract myself from.

Now there was nothing and I was left with my body covered in cuts and tears falling down my face. Shaking my head I dropped the glass and went to take a shower before go to bed.

As I slept the nightmare was the same as it always was during these times. James was crying and begging me to open my eyes while my Mom called for an ambulance. I should have planned that day better.

"Barney," Ted said banging on my door, "Come on, you have a meeting to get to."

Sighing I climbed out of bed and started to go to the door only to see myself in the mirror. As I stared at the cuts from last night I wondered what I was going to do this time. I didn't have enough time to think though.

"Barney," Ted said wlking into my room, "Wake up, dude, we have...Oh my God."

"Ted," I said grabbing my shirt, "I wa just getting ready."

"What were those?" Ted said pointing to my chest.

"Nothing, give me a moment and I'll be ready for the meeting."

Ted stared at me for a moment before angrily spinning me around and pulling my shirt off. Glaring I pushed him away and took my shirt back. Putting it back on I went to my closet and put some pants on before grabbing a jacket, tie, socks, and shoes. Once I was finished getting dressed in went into the restroom to do my hair.

"What were those, Barney?" Ted asked from the doorway.

"Rough night," I said calmly.

"You let a chick cut you?"

"Told you I needed a release. We should get going or we'll be late."

Brusing past Ted I walked out of my apartment and down to the street. Ted walked up beside me and watched me closely as I hailed a cab. As we climbed into the cab I saw that he still was staring at me.

When we got to the office I quickly walked into the meeting and sat down. Ted walked into behind me and started to explain what was going to happen with the new building.

Once the meeting was over I rushed into my office and picked up all the glass that was still on the floor. I went to throw them in the garbage muttering promises of never cutting again, but I couldn't throw them away.

"Fine," I said placing the glass in a drawer, "You win."

Sitting at my desk I tried to clear my mind, but all that I could think of was when I could cut next. It was just how I was when I was younger. I didn't have anyone to save me this time though.

"What did I do?" I asked myself, "What the hell did I do?"

"We need to talk, Barney," Ted said busting through the doors.

"You really need to start knocking."

"You let a chick cut you because you needed a relese. What the hell were you thinking? Don't you know how dangerous that is? She could have killed you. This has got to be the stupidest thing you've ever done, Barney."

"Ted, shut up."

Standing up I walked to the door and locked the door. I turned to glare at him before ramming him into the wall. He stared at me in shock and fear. He thought I was going to hit him.

"I'm going to say this once, Mosbey," I said before motioning to the door, "Walk out of this office and never bring this up again. Forget what you saw because you know nothing about what I've done or what I'm going through."

Ted stared at me before crossing his arms and leaving. Shaking my head I watched him walk down the hall way and hopefully away from all of this. He didn't need to get involved in what I've done.

The rest of work passed about the same. Ted didn't walk in again, but when I started to make my way to the bar he was standing next to me. I could feel his eyes on me as we walked.

"I know," Ted said outside the bar.

"What do you know?" I asked opening the door.

"I called James."

Freezing I felt my heart stop. Hoping that I had heard Ted wrong I turned and looked at him. He looked like he could actually see me. Quickly I rushed into the bar and to the restroom.

"Barney," Ted said following me, "You have to talk to me."

"No," I said glaring at him, "You're wrong and you had no right to call James."

"You're hurting yourself, Barney. What did you expect me to do? I'm not going to watch you die. Now let's go to my apartment and we'll talk."

"What are you going to do if I say no?"

"I'm going to tell Robin, Lily, and Marshall. If I can't help you then maybe we all can together."

My heart started to race as I saw the world that I had tried so hard to build was fall apart. I wanted to keep this life just the way it was. Chasing women, drinking, and all of it. I couldn't save it now.

Ted grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the restroom. We made our way up to his apartment and as he pushed me inside I wanted nothing more then to run up to the roof.

"You had no right to interfer," I said staring at the window.

"Something was wrong with you, Barney," Ted said shrugging, "You're my best friend. I had ever right."

"I could have handled this alone."

"James told me that the last time you tried to do this alone you almost killed yourself. I'd rather you hate me and be alive then be my friend and dead."

"Love."

"What?"

Sighing I looked at Ted and shook my head. I had hoped that he would understand what I was talking about. Once again I was getting my hopes up too much about something that would never happen.

"What did you say, Barney?" Ted said stepping closer to me.

"I said love," I said throwing my hands up, "I love you, Ted. Why do you think I'm always trying to get it so you to come out with me and never like the people you date?"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I've had my heart broken already. I can't do that again. It doesn't matter anyway. I'm too broken."

"Then why do I think I can save you?"

Looking up at Ted I tried to catch his eyes only to have Ted press his lips against mine. As soon as his lips touched mine I jerked back and stepped back while shaking my head quickly.

Ted tried to step closer to me only to have me push him back. Racing into the restroom I looked the door and started to look for a razor. Once I had one I pulled off my shirt and started to cut.

I heard the banging on the door and Ted begging me to stop, but I couldn't. I couldn't let myself believe that Ted was telling me the truth. My heart was already too broken.

The banging stopped for a moment giving me enough clearity to look at my wrist and seeing how deep I had cut. Crusing to myself I pulled out my cell phone and called James.

"Barney," James said worriedly, "Are you alright? Ted called and said that..."

"I'm sorry," I said gasping for air, "I'm so sorry, James. I couldn't stop. Why did he have to lie to me? Please, tell me what to do."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ted, he kissed me. Why couldn't he just leave this alone?"

"Barney, tell me what you've done to yourself."

"I think it's too late for that. It doesn't matter either way. Look, just tell Mom and Eli that..."

Before I could finish my sentence the door flung open revealing Ted and a paramedic. They rushed around me trying to stop the bleeding causing me to fight them with the little strength I had.

"Stop," Ted said grabbing my face, "Please, Barney, I can't lose you. Let them help you."

Staring at him I stopped fighting, but rested my head on his shoulder. I repeated that I didn't want him to leave as the paramedics took me away. Ted smiled and followed us out of the apartment.

When we got into the ambulence Ted gripped my hand and kissed the back of it. Smiling slightly I watched with blurry eyes as he let tears slip down his face. Before I could say anything I felt myself slip into the darkness.

The next time I opened my eyes I was surrounded by white walls and bright lights. Once my eyes were adjusted to everything I looked around the room and saw Ted sleeping in a chair.

"Hey," I said when I saw his eyes opening.

"Hi," Ted said softly, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired and like an idiot."

"Yeah, I bet. Now we can help you stop."

"Ted, I haven't done this in a long time. It was just supposed to be a one time thing."

"It almost killed you. I don't care if it was only supposed to be one time. I almost lost you."

Staring into Ted's eyes I saw that he wasn't lying. He actually cared about me and as much as I didn't want to believe it that was all I had. I didn't know where I'd be if I didn't have Ted.

"You mean that," I said surprised.

"I do," Ted said taking my hand, "You have to believe me."

"I can't. I want to, Ted. I can't yet."

"I'll be here until you do. I'm not leaving, Barney. You're stuck with me. You're stuck you all of us actually."


End file.
